A few points...
No pvp without a dm. Period.
I do not think the server is mature enough to handle this.
I disagree. You know how this gets handled on servers with successful PvP rules?
1) Openly insulting and/or provoking someone is an open invitation to PvP. (Why? Because people often try to hide behind PvP rules as a way to avoid maintaining IC civility and then prevent retaliation.)
2) DMs and Players start saying, "NO fussing when you lose, absolutely none." (No one whines. Whiners get reprimanded by DMs.)
3) The loser of any PvP encounter is ruled to have their memory wiped of anything hostile during the last 24 hours. (In other words, you remember that really cool and useful (for a quest, for example), but your character can't remember the PvP encounter.)
PvP guidelines need to be in place. Being able to engage in bad behavior (IC or OOC) is not something rules should allow.
In my humble opinion monsters should be KoS (and be able to KoS others) with no DM oversight needed.
Yes. Monster race players are aware of what they signed up for, frankly.
Players should never have a say in perma or not, unless they are making that decision for their own character.
I agree. No player should be able to perma-kill any character but their own.
Some take it to the point that they just piss off allot of people and then they get hunted down and results in perma one way or another.
So? Let them get hunted down. Grab a DM, and let them organize things such that a perma can be handed out, if appropriate. If you piss everyone off and only cause damage and chaos and generally be an asshat IC, the consequence might just be that they eventually kill your character.
but in my anecdotal experience the people who wish to remain outside of PvP often use this excuse to be openly IC insulting, provocative and degrading to other party while using their desire to stay clear of PvP as a screen to avoid consequence.
I've also seen this on other servers. Fact is, if you were IC insulting, provocative, and/or degrading in real life, it causes issues. (Fight starts [hopefully not], the thrower of insults get reported to HR, etc., etc., etc.) In a setting like Netheril, openly insulting someone is asking for a consequence... such as a duel.
And from a mechanical perspective, maybe, just maybe, that loss of xp if you lose the duel will teach you to be more careful who you pick IC fights with.